Why do I fucking bother?

Ah, the Natural History Museum.

I've been a few times, with mixed results. I first did it hideously hungover after my first night out post baby number two. I felt rough, baby was about three months and toddler was hugely excited. I negotiated the various buses, trains, escalators etc alone whole towing a buggy.

We checked the buggy in and for two hours I carried the baby in my hippy sling and held hands with a running toddler. We did the dinosaurs twice ("But I must see the big dinosaur again mummy, I MUST"), the human biology bit ("That man is NAKED mummy! I can see his willy and it's big like daddy's! Look mummy, LOOK!"), the mammals and the creepy crawlies. Suffice to say I was fucking knackered by the time we got home.

Husband tactfully says nothing about my appearance, which is sweaty, unkempt and includes the haunted look of a woman who has worked very hard not to kill any of the arseholes occupying the tube on the way home. Instead, he turns to toddler and asks the very reasonable question "What did you do today?". I preened, surely a glowing report of the day was forthcoming, I was ready to bask in the praise of clever mummy taking the boys out and the fun we had.

Toddler, pulled a thoughtful expression... And then looked doleful.

"Nothing daddy, it was a very boring day."

"But I thought you saw dinosaurs?"

"Yes, but they were too scary and I didn't like them."

This exchange was followed by a pained sigh of regret and a look of disappointment in my direction.

I nearly combusted with barely contained rage. How very dare he?! Nothing? Fucking nothing? Aaaaaaaargh!

We went again the other day with my sister and niece. This time toddler ran off, he was rude, there were tantrums, there was drama and it was a bloody nightmare.

On both occasions my overwhelming feeling was "Why do I bother?"

However, every time I do these things, no matter the disappointment expressed at home, it would appear that toddler gives glowing reports at nursery of our days out. He recounts in great detail the dinosaur robot that roared just at him, the enormous whale that is high, high up in the air, the bones everywhere.

So it would appear that I bother simply to provide my son with anecdotes for friends and for others to hear about the fun we've had.

Oh well, at least I must look overachieving and smug to any other parents who hear of our exploits, excellent.